One of my least favorite things to learn in school was Geography. After reading this post by my mom, Harriet Posnak Lesser, I cannot understand why … Melody Lesser
Alluvia … I love you back.
Atlas … It’s about time!
Acid Rain … But the weather guy said clear.
Beaches … Not to be confused with blums. bectarines and bapricots.
Bedrock … Time for a new mattress.
Butte … Do I really have to explain that?
Canal … I think he can.
Chinook … Fancy word for “Jerk.”
Lagoon … Female form of Chinook.
Confluence … When smart people get together to discuss important stuff.
Deciduous … The guy in the crowd who has the last word.
Delta … Reese, Street (Perry Mason’s secretary) and Duck (Donald’s twin sister.)
Elevation … Going Up? Going down?
Escarpment … Exclusively designed as a hangout for carp.
Extinct volcano … They probably all smell bad.
Fall line … Attention fashionistas. Now in stores everywhere.
Bayou … As in, “I’m fine. How’s bayou?” (Very old joke.)
Feral animal … Will’s favorite dog or cat?
Fjord … My first car was a Fjord. Honest.
Glacier … I think he has something to do with windows.
Globe … Where you hang your earrings.
Growing season … Aka the winter holidays. (I knew what that meant when I wrote it. Now only Santa knows.)
Heavy industry … Weight Watchers.
Hinterland … See butte.
Horizon … Telecommunications company.
Igneous rock … Really hot music. (Or Iggy Azaleas’s dad.)
International date line … “Your place or mine” in different languages.
Magma … “Lava come back to me.” (See above.)
Loess … Superman’s girl friend.
Moraine … What you wish for during a dry spell.
Sinkhole … Aka the drain.
Tundra … Goes with lightning.
Windward … Revered Watergate reporter. (His partner was Bernstein.)
Ecosystem … From one yodeler to another.
Mainland … Bangor, Portland, Bath and Augusta etc..
Copyright 2015 Harriet Posnak Lesser
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Harriet Posnak Lesser is an award-winning journalist and social satirist whose articles have appeared in Long Island’s The South Shore Record and Nassau Herald, The New York Times, Cracked Magazine and others.
Ok, Ok. I do indeed remember what you taught me, Melody. East is at my right hand and west is at my left. My head is north and my feet are south. But what happens when I turn around?
LOVE you,
YFM