National Gardening Month  (aka April) got off to a late start in the Northeast where I live. But since late is better than never, here’s a brief rundown on gardening terms for all you formerly freezing and frustrated freelance flower farmers out there.

Gardening

Conifer: There’s Garner, Lawrence and Lopez to name a few.

Germinate:  Bet he ordered wiener schnitzel.

Frond:   Opposite of Enomy;

Climate:  What kids do when they see a tree.

Rake and hoe:  He’s bad.  She’s worse.

Tuber:  Largest of the brass instruments.  People who play them are known as potato heads.

Spore:  But most of his friends are rich.

Thatch:  Proper responses are “You’re welcome” or “Gezundheit.”

Pruner:  I like mine stewed and served with cream-er.

Sprinkler:  Delicious on ice cream cones.  Make mine chocolate.

Weed:  Aka grass.

Shovel:  A little shove.

Plant genus:  A very smart plant.

Flower bed:  Where roses like to sleep.

Anemone:  Someone who doesn’t like you.  And can you say it three times in a row?

Sod:  Not happy.

Cocoon:  A raccoon that stutters.

Butterfly:  My cat likes hers with cream cheese.

Seed:  Past tense of saw.

Fertilizer:  She’s had ten kids in six years.

Trellis:  Not an oak, elm or dogwood in sight.  (Think about it.)

Daisy:  Best time to plant.  Nightsy, not as good.

Trowel:  You’ll need one to dry your hands.

Spade:  “I sent you a check weeks ago!”

Copyright 2015 Harriet Posnak Lesser

 

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