Ranting About Rudeness

It had been weeks since my last pedicure and I was looking forward to enjoying an hour and a half of pampering at my nail salon this morning. I sat in the pedicure chair, my feet immersed to the ankles in warm, fragrant, bubbling water and, as I began a lovely conversation with my manicurist who’s been doing my nails for years, a woman I’d never seen blew into the salon. “Hello, sorry I’m late,” she shrieked in a high-pitched voice that was as loud as a low-flying plane. “How was your Halloween,” she yelled to her manicurist and then, without waiting for an answer, screamed, “Mine was great. The kids had so much fun. Madison went as a cat but she lost her tail somewhere along the way. It was ok. The candy she got made up for it. Derek went as Dracula and he was so cute. We had 119 kids come to the house. None of my friends had as many. I think it was because of the decorations. I spent a small fortune on Halloween decorations this year.” And on it went.  She was as perky as she was loud, which, oddly enough, annoyed me even more. Miss Perky Loudmouth ruined my relaxing moment. Her high-pitched voice echoed from wall to floor to ceiling and into my ears, which, frankly, were beginning to hurt.

I asked my manicurist if this woman was always so loud but I couldn’t hear her response. The woman was screaming about her book club. She didn’t like the selection but was plodding along with it. At several points during her soliloquy, she modulated her voice and my ears stopped ringing. I noticed that her manicurist also modulated hers. The latter had been matching the woman yell for yell. I had thought she might have a hearing problem, but my manicurist said that wasn’t the case. She was just loud, very, very loud. And rude. My pedicure done, I moved across the room to the manicure station hoping for some quiet but that wasn’t to be. The loudmouth dragged me into her life as she yelled about her home renovation, her dinner plans, her supermarket list. She barely came up for air as she continued to scream her words as she moved to the manicure station and to the table in front of me. I couldn’t hear myself think and at one point, said in my head, “Shut up. Please,” only it wasn’t in my head. The words actually came out of my mouth. My manicurist giggled but the woman didn’t hear, she was deafened by her own voice.

As my nails dried and I counted the seconds until I could escape this torture, I texted two friends to complain. One texted back that it was the “Kardashian Effect when people believe that everyone is interested in every tidbit of their lives. They don’t understand that all their thoughts don’t need to be expressed.” My other friend texted, “Humans are annoying.” Both made me laugh. I left the salon and escaped to the quiet of the parking lot which was partially under construction. The jackhammer had nothing on Miss Perky Loudmouth, I thought as I turned on my radio full blast. I hope my hearing returns soon.

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