The Timorous Traveler by Claudia Chesler

Are you heading out of town for vacation? The last days of August are among the busiest for travel. But getting away, while wonderful, is often fraught with stress. There are the issues of what to pack, how much to pack, when to pack, what to do with the fur kids and on and on. For me, the issue is shoes. I never want to be without the right pair of shoes and always pack an entire suitcase of just shoes. I may be on vacation but I still want to look good! Here, guest author Claudia Chesler addresses the stresses of travel. I’m sure you’ll relate. Enjoy her post and feel free to tell us your travel stresses in the comments below. We’d love to hear from you.

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The Timorous Traveler by Claudia Chesler

I’m not one of those people who is deathly afraid to travel as a result of terror threats and political unrest in the world. Nor do I have a fear of flying – either in the Erica Jong sense or the actual phobia. No, my trepidation about travel revolves around much more quotidian issues and is admittedly vanity-based.

First, there is the packing dilemma. As a woman of, ahem, a certain age, I need lots of “stuff.” What a drag it is getting old! Makeup and toiletry items usually take up more space than my clothing. Case in point – my growing vision requirements are bordering on the absurd. In addition to packing my contact lenses and my regular eyeglasses, I need prescription and non-prescription sunglasses, reading glasses, and tinted reading glasses. So much for packing light!

I’ve also managed to develop an acute sensitivity to MSG in my later years. This food additive is used in many more foods than most people realize. Ingesting even a tiny bit induces headaches, sweating, facial numbness, heart palpitations and chest pain. Fun! For me, the enjoyment of travel includes exploring new restaurants and sampling new cuisines. Since this is often uncharted – and potentially dangerous – territory, I now pack a jar of cream of tartar (yes, the stabilizer used in cooking), which mitigates the symptoms.

Then there’s the blow dryer battle. In order to conserve space, my husband insists that I leave mine at home and use the one that the hotel provides. Well, this can be a real crapshoot. Some hotels do provide decent blow dryers, but that seems to be the exception and not the rule. The problem is that the cheap ones simply do not get hot enough, which means that they don’t seal the hair cuticle, which translates into constant frizz.

Upon arrival at the hotel, a host of other issues surfaces. “Hotel air” does not agree with me. I have allergies, and the forced air that blasts out of huge HVAC systems wreaks havoc on my sensitive sinuses. I usually wake up with puffy eyes, not exactly the look I strive to achieve on vacation – or anytime.

And please don’t get me started on the lighting! Most women create, or at least grow accustomed to, optimal lighting at home for applying makeup, blow drying their hair and seeing how they look when getting dressed. It’s a whole different ballgame in a hotel. There may be full-length mirrors in the room, but they’re typically situated in the worst location in a frequently poorly lit room. It is virtually impossible to get a decent look at yourself. I will grant a well-deserved exception to the Delano Hotel in South Beach. The lighting is amazing, and the tall mirrors that are propped up against the walls are at the perfect angle to make you look skinny. Brava!

The bathroom lighting is often at the other end of the spectrum – way too bright, and the light fixtures are not positioned well, casting a harsh and unflattering glare. Oh, to be able to go through life perfectly lit!

While I’m on the subject of bathrooms, there is also the problem I will delicately refer to as getting your knickers in a twist. Traveler’s constipation is real, and it affects women more so than men. This is not exactly conducive to feeling attractive in a bathing suit or those cute resort clothes I wanted to wear. No worries – I’m generally “good to go” on the day I’m leaving!

I just returned from a brief vacation. One day’s activity was a Blast and Cast – clay pigeon shooting in the morning and rock bass fishing in the afternoon. I suffered all sorts of bruises on my chest and arms from the shotgun’s kickback, and a few more black and blue marks on my legs as I negotiated my way on a rocking and rolling boat. Add my frizzy hair and puffy eyes to the mix, and I look like I desperately need another vacation – but I don’t dare go!

Claudia Chesler is a non-practicing attorney who now works as an academic test prep specialist and editor. She is an avid reader, aspiring cook, and one-time marathoner. She has two wonderful children and two adorable cats. After a thirty-year hiatus, Claudia was reunited with her college beau. They are now married and are living happily ever after in Chevy Chase, MD.

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