We all have our own definition of getting older. Here, Harriet Posnak Lesser gives us her take on aging. Enjoy – and feel free to fill in the blank. You know you’re getting older when … Play along by leaving a comment in the section below.
**************************************************************
You know you’re getting older when …
Lunchtime conversation with “the girls” focuses on blood pressure pills and plastic surgery instead of Midol and the PTA.
Someone says your pants are baggy around the knees – but you’re wearing a mini-skirt.
You rely on socks instead of sex to keep you warm in bed.
You’ve forgotten what PMS stands for.
Too many people say, “I’ll bet you were adorable when you were young.”
You think Hip Hop is something the Easter Bunny does.
You’d like to scratch your elbows but you can’t find them.
Your high school is declared an historic landmark.
All the men you attract look like Ed Asner. (Actually wouldn’t mind going out with him.)
You don’t do Windows (as in 8.1).
You look in the mirror and there’s your mother looking back at you.
People stop asking if your daughter is your sister.
You don’t make dinner plans more than two weeks in advance.
You wear new clothes immediately instead of saving them for a special occasion.
You think Hugh Jackman fixes flat tires and Jonah Hill is part of the Catskills.
You remember all the words to Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds but you can’t remember what
you had for lunch. Even worse, you can’t remember who you had lunch with.
Some of your clothes are older than all of your doctors.
You’re spending more money on medications than on makeup.
Your grandkids ask if you voted for Abraham Lincoln.
Strangers rush to open doors for you and ask if you need help with your packages.
You don’t know anyone who drinks caffeinated coffee.
Your body is no longer your castle. It’s a suburban split level with an attached two-car garage.
Nobody looks surprised when you ask for a senior discount. (Even worse when you don’t ask and you’re offered one.)
Copyright 2014 HARRIET POSNAK LESSER
ABOUT HARRIET POSNAK LESSER
Harriet Lesser is an award-winning journalist and social satirist whose articles have appeared in Long Island’sThe South Shore Record and Nassau Herald, The New York Times, Cracked Magazine and others.
YOU MAY ALSO LIKE:
Should You Have Cosmetic Surgery? (How Dare You Want To Look Older than Your Age!)
I Tried It! Anti-Aging Phototherapy IlluMask
A Dermatologist’s View on Aging: Dr. Michael Tomeo Talks Skin Care
Harriet Posnak Lesser is an award-winning journalist and social satirist whose articles have appeared in Long Island’s The South Shore Record and Nassau Herald, The New York Times, Cracked Magazine and others.